The Fly Life

Eyes closed and deep sleep,
Surrounding me in four walls
With you by my side.

It's seven fifteen
Morning sun and there's no doubt
That I am at home.

I

I'll start with now

I remember those nights you sat across from me
told me all bullshit and asked "What should I do, V?"
I said "I don't know B, but you'll always have me"
you took it as a friend, but I just wanna see you free
From the lies, from the screamin, and even the heavy breathin,
Except the heavy breathing when makin love is the reason.
"For everything there is a season"
I wanna be your spring-time, summer, fall
winter wonderland, I just wanna be it all.
I wanna be your everything,
I'll fight for you.
I'll put these bitches in line: single file
Organized order.
But when I have you my heart
You twist it up and give it back.
At the rate this going now,
I'm just afraid it's gonna crack...


Go back to the pain
that might as well be in vain
cause you keep runnin back to her
like this life was a game.
I can't help you through it
you wanna just get into it
with the one that ain't hurtin you
I might as well let you do it
I can't keep sittin here
takin hits like the front lines
don't wanna be K.I.A. but i don't wanna run, I
just wanna be the one to hold you late at night
just wanna be the one you make up with when we fight.
but I can't keep sittin here thinkin like you gonna change
I can't keep talking like you and her are estranged.
Cause she's still on your phone sayin Trizzy you miss me?
and even when you with me, you don't even say that you busy.
Although I only take it as a little bit of disrespect
I see it more as disrespect for yourself
You don't even know your wealth.
You don't care about your health.
Cause keep stressin these bitches
I'm sorry, these young ladies
They just constantly switchin
Between the two.

Something to get you through the night when the one you're used to sleeping next to isn't by your side..

Even if its just for tonight
The moon, the stars, the sky is ours
As we lay in this bed and contemplate the mights.
Maybe you'll love me,
Even if its just until the morning
Maybe Ill be with you
The next time its outside, pouring.



When you lay beside me,
Its the best sleep I ever had
Even when I can't breathe
Because I want you so bad.
I feel safe in your arms,
My head on your chest.
I don't know any harm
My mind my body soul can rest.
When the moon shines at midnight,
Through the window onto the sheets.
Even if you're not in my sight
I still feel you right next to me.
When I don't have you near me
It feels like you're miles away
I'm like a baby I can't sleep
I lay awake until the day.
Said I need you here
I can't bare to be without you
You told me that you'd always be here
And I said I'd never doubt you.

You're the only one I want
You're the only one I need
You're the only one I'll hold on to
When nightmares wake me from my sleep.

So all those times you was getting hype about Chris and Rihanna getting back together you were hoping it was you and her... I don't know whether you was thinking about the girl before her or her herself but I knew it wasn't me. The fuck I look like trying to be that pitiful girl who let him crush me and then get me back? That's why you there. That's why I let you in.... because you hadn't hurt me before I turned my back on you but you giving me the other cheek while you giving her the cool side of the pillow. The fuck I look like sittin here while you giving subliminals on Facebook to the world what you can't even tell me to my face. But like you said you just pleasing the world for the sake of their feelings when its only for the sake of my skin that you satisfy me.... why don't you get your mind straight then you wouldn't have to deal with curving bitches because you wouldn't have the time of day, forget about during the night.... if course none of them other girls would tell you that because they too caught up in the petty and care too much about being set for life.... not even willing to fight for their own. I'm fighting just to protect my heart..i cant think about fighting for yours. If it was mine to begin with you'd end up in my arms every night instead of a blunt and a light or some other girl falling asleep on your bed when you ain't even have the balls to tell her to get out... the fuck I look like on some Bruno mars shit catchin a grenade for your ass... fuck that. And lose my hand? No thank you. I'm already in the trenches of predicates fighting bullets and bombshells of bad grammar and  syntax.

More than a year's gone by.
Would you even recognize me if you saw me on the street?
The question is would I recognize you
If you walked past me...
Besides I don't think I've changed all that much.
You might beg to differ.
Because I can still see you...
Just like I saw you yesterday.
I heard your voice
Watched your cheeks raise when you smiled,
Watched your eyes watch mine intently.
Maybe it was just a dream,
When I watched you turn into the sunset
And walked away.
To forever leave me in the wake of my own memory.

I know that you can't fight bitterness with bitterness. But what else can I possibly feel other than my gut holding back the words my tongue wants to say when you wont give me the time of day but my heart knows its wrong. Because an eye for an eye will leave us both blind to the love that will always lie in between us at night whether we are in the same bed or miles apart. Since you got the last word I'm left in the dark and forced to wait until you come get me out of this place because I won't leave without you because we both got ourselves here... we have to leave the same way. I can't reciprocate the feeling that you gave me because two negatives don't make a positive they only make a greater negative which is really further away from the positive that is there but covered up by its reciprocal on the other side of zero.