The Fly Life

Lookin back 21 years of my past and wondering why the best things didn't last.
I wonder if you really saw the light in my eyes that night.

I wonder if you heard me say "I love you" for one last time.
Why didn't I hold on longer? Why didn't I look back?

I would give anything to see your face just one more time.
14 years later and I can still hear your voice perfectly.
Before I close my eyes tonight, I will pray
That I meet you in my dreams.

I will no longer let my eyes lie for me
You will know the thoughts that cross my mind every minute
If you just take the short moment.
to look into my eyes.

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I don't know what to say to you. From the first time I read your words I was intrigued, but I was in an unknown land, never before have I experienced something like that. that... as time went by and I continued to crawl through the loopholes of your metaphors that are to me so real and upfront they couldn't get much closer to the truth, and the fact that they capture every bit of emotion and air from me and leave me breathless, I began to dig deeper and deeper into the jungle of your mind and somewhere in the darkest most desolate place sat the epitome of what was wrapped up in your words all along, the part of me that took what seemed like centuries to show you, was in front of me all along. as I sit and think about how your words speak volumes, they need not be told with volume in your voice, just a simple whisper in my ear will do and a gentle hand on my neck but I haven't even gotten to the lips yet... let your index finger reference the indents of my smile and your fingertips run across my lips so that part of you will stay for me to taste while my leg goes from crossed over me to encompassing you, wrapped with judgment and insecurities, it finds the safest place possible, on your lap to rest with your bones while the rest of me still filled with judgment and insecurities runs free cause that's what your words do to me and for me all while at the same time embracing my mind with the thought of you embracing me I somehow get lost in the space between our two bodies so make it disappear, hold me tight no longer with just your words but with your arms around my waist and my arms around your shoulders we'll find a way through this night of our lives that is set so gently on the city skyline by the setting sun.. the sight that I find myself gazing upon like I was gazing into your eyes feeling every emotion and transmitting them when my lips find refuge from the darkness of the sun dipped in horizon, in a reflection of my life and what my eyes cannot see, ears cannot hear, nose cannot smell nor can the voice speak.. Only the touch of skin can comprehend... but at the same time let me breathe you in, see how perfect it can look, hear your whispers or our echoed scream, those of pain and pleasure, in the moments of tribulation and ecstasy... wrap your mind in my words and my thoughts.. Then you will see me in my barest form...

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there is a silence that only the street lamps could tell you.
for a brief moment after they have been put to rest
after another watchful night,
they speak of a quiet that comes from the streets
that are yet untouched by daylight.
cars only move in the distance,
but the streets that surround me are still asleep.
as the sky lightens, i do not fear the silence
because it welcomes life.
drawing children from their slumber
and people to the pavement,
this is the circle of life and the cycle
that ends and begins in this time.
a cool breeze makes its way to my window
and greets me to listen to the sound of silence,
for it is where i find peace.

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My eyes map out the lines of life on your face as my fingers forge paths in the valleys that span your chest and back. My tongue explores the rapids of your kiss.. I only know your shallow. The white capped waves atop deep, deep rivers. I want to know the words and thoughts that lie on the banks. Secrets never spoken. I want to swim upstream to your earliest memories so I know where you have been, and race downstream, so I may find where you are headed. I want to dive deep into your eyes where your soul lies and your dreams fly. As I ascend my legs scale cliffs and hold onto you for dear life. I want to fill every space between your fingers with my own so that I know we're both whole. I want to be the one to make you the happiest and have the potential to make you hurt the most. I want to be the one to make you the most vulnerable, and provide you the greatest refuge from the storm. I want my insecurites to embrace your vulerabilities so that we may both be... Open.

I have only five minutes to express to you what it would take ten millenniums to verbalize, so look into my eyes and take my hand. Follow my lead and wrap your arms around me. Feel secure to rest your bones, and I promise you will never be left alone. And if you ever find yourself losing count of the stars in the sky, close your eyes and imagine me with you, that I may help you find where you left off. That I may help you find where you left. So that I may help you find... My mind travels miles to find you again.

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Your love reaches deep within me. It gropes at the darkness of where it last slept and finds that it no longer carries the scent of you but left abandoned like the first class in the Titanic. It's been centuries from lives past since love last resided there before it left for a few lifetimes to go fight for herself. She braved on as men invaded her land and stole her children to make them work as dogs. She was the leader of an army of Amazon woman warriors but they were more like goddesses, their love for their people kept them alive. Before the days of war, were the lives of leisure, when she ruled the pyramids and supported the world on the balance of her shoulder with her hips. Love hadn't been there since before Eve sprang from Adam's rib and the dirt from the earth as they fell into the hole of original sin.
Your love entered me without hesitance. A bright white light around the room when you walked in. The north star of David stood in second and third place while the flame your love carried with bare hands and risked second and third degree burns shined brightly. Your love burned hot silver and warmed every corner that was once frigid and lonely. Your love reached deep inside me past every molecule of me that stood in the way and charged to my innermost self. The place where only I resided, but barely knew. With its light, your love came in and revealed parts of me that were lost in those past lifetimes. A love for myself and for those around me. I will spread the love that you gave to me and reach deep inside others with my heart as your hand holds mine and touches my soul at the same time.


...In a haiku poem, only half the story is told... It is the other half you must pay close attention to.

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Each one of us has a story to tell. So pay attention because even if you think you know me well.. something like the back of my hand- my story is in my palm. Each line is a wrinkle in time from a life before...

I don't need to live the high life, I'd rather live the Fly Life. I don't need no shining lights, just the stars shining bright. I don't need the money, just the milk and the honey. I don't want the cars and the clothes, I just want 16 bars and notes. I have no need for AARP because seeing another sun rise is the best life insurance one could have...

Forget the rock on my finger to commit, just wrap your arms around me and find a beat to rock with. I don't mind that we missed the train so long as you were kissing me in the rain too long. Let's break up just to make up... or not break up, just make up for being away from each other too long. I don't care that my hair is a mess, run your fingers through it a little bit longer until my eyes have no choice but to let you out of their site. And when the moon is the only guide through the night, let my head rest on your chest so I know where I am when the morning comes...

I don't want the caviar and the wine, just hand me yellow rice and a bottle of rum. Let the gold and diamonds stay in the caves, I'd rather have a shell from where the sea kisses the shore. I would take a sunny day over a brightly lit stage cause I don't need the fame to know the true meaning of the name Fly Vida. Because life is fly whether it be from a bird's eye where the wings of words allow every voice to be heard or from the eye of the storm that throws you and forces you to transform your Vida. So don't hold on to anything tangible for too long because at the end of the day, a dollar is just some paper, a penny is just metal, but a smile is priceless.

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A familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach
If I would have stayed I would have become it.
Like Alicia Keys said you give me that Heartburn
But like she also said, you just another Lesson Learned.

Because if I'd considered you a waste of time
It'd be worse- you'd have wasted mine.
And that might give you some twisted satisfaction
But I'm just gonna hit you with the opposite reaction.

Those late night fights had me feelin kinda tight
But it's a new morning and I'm feeling alright.
My mind is clear, my spirits are high.
And unlike time, I'll let you pass me by.

I won't apologize for being a mess
I'm only sorry to myself for letting you cause me stress.
But I wouldn't trade it a thousand times.
Otherwise I wouldn't be writing these lines.

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Perhaps the reason when words go unwritten for a period of time is that I would rather have memories lost than recorded like the Aztecs and Incas that are still legible today. I want them to be lost in Atlantis, to be constantly pondered but never found and I'd rather them be made up then surfaced to eat at me once again. I want the touch of your hand and the sound of your voice to fall so deep into the pit of my stomach it is broken down by the acidity of my body. I got this heartburn every time I hear your voice after I have almost forgotten what you sound like, a message on my phone whose retention time is about to expire. I would have waited for you should I have known that your heart was somewhere in this universe and not behind the bars of a black hole.

Sometimes the only reason we keep coming back to only to ask "why". Because even a bad explanation is better than not having one at all. I am caught between deleting your number from my phone so I don't see your name and keeping it there so I know when to bounce back and forth between answering and pressing "ignore".

When my fault lines are about to bring fourth the lava that runs in my heart, just to hear your voice is relief. So now I'm caught in a catch 22 with the two of you between hearing your voice and seeing your face and having you pushed to the back of my mind which would be a blessing in disguise. But I will not let it get the best of me. I'll let it roll.

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Everything you preach
Must be the same as what you teach.
All these people fakin like they anointed,
but the rest of us know who God appointed.
Would you face humility for me? I highly doubt it.
For me, would you speak against adversity?
Would you die to set me free?
Not just for me, but for all humanity?
Now, y'al lookin at me with ya eyes all w i d e
Thinkin 'Damn, this girl is out of her mind.'
but to tell you the truth I couldn't care less,
Cause you labeling me ain't worth my stress.
In reality, the only one that can judge me
is the only one who hovers above me.
And that will be on the judgment day,
and I don't know exactly what he'll say,
but it's the same to me as it is to you
cause God forgives, no matter what we do.
He knows about me and about you.
And about everything you've been through.
From our joy to our sorrow,
even what we'll encounter tomorrow.
He knows when you sleep and if you'll wake
or if he decides your soul to take.
Cause if he did, he'd be takin and makin and angel in heaven.
and I'd know that I'd see your face again.
When I see the beauty of God's love
and see that nothing can come above:
Him.
He freed me from sin.
He died for me to set me free.
He spoke against adversity.
Not only for me, but for all humanity.
So you see?
It's a real, unconditional kind of thing...
...Cause nothing can be compared
to the Love of a King.

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