I don't know when you exist.
Maybe it was just to show me you were okay.
But why make it harder to let you go?...
You were almost real.
I heard your voice.
I watched your shoulders twist in the wind.
If I close my eyes, I can see you.
Did I touch you?
Did I gage the temperature of your body with my hand?
In fact I never did.
Stood as a bystander and just watched.
I was powerless to transmit this feeling that I had,
That was so deep my subconscious carried it.
I thought you were just a fleeting memory.
Believed you existed in a time and place
That was from over a years past.
Why do you still sit in the corner of my  mind?
I can still feel the breeze coming through my window,
And I wonder if it's touched your skin.
If you're not coming back,
Please don't stay here.

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Wednesday, August 17, 2011 Posted in | , , , , , | 0 Comments »



Dear Beyonce, I love you, but I loved your thighs more. They gave me a reason to believe my thighs were just fine. I believed that they were worth the time it took to get my jeans on or trouble when I found a dress that fit the rest of me perfectly, but finding another because my thighs were making it too short. I was under the impression that the pressure on his lap from my thighs was just fine and that if he couldn't handle them, he couldn't handle me. 
My thighs were supported by calves that were the pillars that support my ass that is almost too much for the eyes to handle.  It was okay that my thighs jigged cause my muscles were chiseled from my ass to my heels when I walked in a pair of heels, revealing marble stone that Greek statues envied. 
Where did they go?
Now I'm told that I have to cover them from the summer sun and they can't wade in waves the crash on them when I stand in water that's just below my waist. They can't be mimicked by a pair of jeans or matched exactly by a pair of leggings. They have to be lonely and never be reminded of one another's presence because they can get lost with increased degrees of separation. 
But I will not eat the lies that media, airbrush, needles, and people feed me. My legs have walked a thousand miles and have carried others along the way. I will not doubt them because they have never failed me.
I think I've made my decision. Thank you.


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Tuesday, August 9, 2011 Posted in | , , , , , , , | 1 Comments »

I could stare at you with the video on mute all night,

Just to watch the smile come across your face
Like an autumn breeze on a Sunday afternoon in October. 
I stare from the window and watch 
As the leaves change colors and get carried away by wind. 
The sun reaches past the glass and sets the amber and brown in my eyes aflame. 

I want to be there with you through the book of your life. 
Help you write pages that turn into chapters,
Falls that turn into winters. 
Light my fire, and shelter me enough without putting it out. 
When everything melts into a lovely spring, 
Pale rose will settle on my cheeks when you come around. 

Help me to understand you the best way I know how. 
Not expecting flowers to bloom in spring when every year that wait for summer. 
Rain will always come and go,
But that just means that the lilies will grow later
And set the hillside on fire
In the middle of the summer. 

And as the sun sets on an August day
That we spent together under golden skies,
Hold me close by,
I don't want this summer to end. 
Just promise that you'll be there when the time has come
To show me another Autumn. 

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Wednesday, August 3, 2011 Posted in | , , , , , | 0 Comments »

And sometimes when I'm all alone,
I turn the light on in the hallway
So that it feels like someone else is there with me.

A familiarity from over a decade ago,
When I could see the living room light
From underneath the bedroom door.

I don't know what it is exactly,
That I remember so distinctly
About that light.

What I do remember in retrospect,
Is feeling so safe in my bed
Tucked away in the back of the house.

You were out in the living room until passed my bed time,
All the monsters had to get by you
If they wanted to get to my room.

I was never scared of the closet,
Or underneath my bed
Only that the light would go out before I fell asleep.

But I don't think it ever did,
That light seemed to stay lit
Until the morning sun came.

And now when I can't sleep,
With those monsters in my head
I turn on the light so I can sleep again.

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Monday, August 1, 2011 Posted in | , , | 2 Comments »