Eyes closed and deep sleep,
Surrounding me in four walls
With you by my side.

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Friday, December 28, 2012 Posted in | , , | 0 Comments »

It's seven fifteen
Morning sun and there's no doubt
That I am at home.

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I’ve never looked forward to the fall, 

probably because I’ve never had you by my side.   
Time goes slowly now, 
but there never seems to be enough of it. 
I’ve counted the stars on my ceiling, 
memorized their patterns. 
Come the winter solstice I will have to start counting 
and recounting again, 
but I will do it all for you. 
Year after year,  
Repetition turns to traditional ceremony.  
And it will all come to an end 
Where it began: 
In the summer time 
Only to start again, 
Reborn anew.  
So take my hand, 
As we walk towards an autumn sunset. 
We can savor all the cool breezes, 
Before we brave the winter.  


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Monday, December 10, 2012 Posted in | , , | 0 Comments »

Subways turn dusk into daylight, midday into twilight. Lose all track of time, like the lovers down the line. You can live your life down there and let time resume when you return from middle earth, but time doesn’t stop- don’t you think we’d all be stuck in one moment because we thought that was as good as it got? And even though we didn’t know that door would close, there’s always another chapter that comes after? The subways can rob you of everything that you think you are… or reinvent you into a person that you always wanted to be- a dreamer, an artist, a revolutionary. You may not be able to take on the world, but you can change people’s prospect of the time spent just by being where you always are, just having another way to spend the time. Subways can start a relationship if you just go out on a limb and risk embarrassment for a complete stranger, or maybe even your next door neighbor. It is a place that can turn you into someone you never thought you could be, or someone you were all along. Subways give you the strength that the streets above can rob you of. The subway can break relationships. I’m not talking about that you can dodge her because it is an irrefutable fact that you couldn’t answer your phone because you were on the train- even though you never say which one. I’m not even talking about the arguments that are within earshot of everyone on the goddamn train. I’m talking about the deafening silence that carries over the din and the voice of the announcer whether you can understand them or not. No number of awkward attempts intended to lighten the moment as the wheels dig deeper below the street as pressure builds. As you approach the sidewalk pressure is released in the largest amount…gaskets blown.. But after everything is said and done, the subway can also be a place for revelation. Instead of staying mad for God only knows what, I’ll just take your hand in mine as you silently confess what has been bothering you… give you a chance to experience the subway too.

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Monday, September 24, 2012 Posted in | , , , , , , , , | 0 Comments »

I

Gangster by nature, undercover crack head
Away from the highways and byways
More like the alleyways to the gutter
To the streets of Calcutta
Nicknamed city of joy
You could only imagine what moves through these ports, boy
Oldest in operation, perpetuate desperation
For another hit, anything to get me through the day
When I don’t have to face the desert rain
That never falls to bless me it stings my heart
But the rest is blessed to be getting the rain the falls from the Serengeti.
But I will avoid everything because I know my heartstrings are knotted and frayed
Because it was my family I most betrayed.


II
Tap into your memory
Look into my eyes and remember me.
Not as who I was but who I am today.
Make sure you draw each line in ink
Because I promise I will never change.
Back to that one who drove a wedge between him and the ones he loved.
I’m in this for the long run, like a marathon athlete.
That trains in the mountains where the air is thin,
But when I come to sea level
I won’t fall into the sea and never be able to breathe again.
I’ll swim with the sharks
Deal poor fortunes for the parasitic wildlife
That feed off of them.

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The air is heavy with summer sunshine
I've never slept with only a sheet on the bed before
Before these nights
Before I was wrapped in love and security
Before all of my problems were left at the door
I don't even pay bills in this room anymore.
The fan on 3
Under the cover
By morning it will be gone
Along with our clothes
Because heat overcame our bodies
But we still had to be that much closer
To each other
To fill the space that was left
By what ever thread count that disappeared.
Laying in bed for hours on end
Even though we're both starving
And have a craving for cafe con leche
Our addiction to this bed is more powerful.
My addiction to you is more powerful than that...
I've always been able to hear cars from the window
But now I listen.
For they have always been there.
But I have never been here.
In this place
That has so much love to give
As do I.
To you, to them, to everyone.

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Thursday, August 30, 2012 Posted in | , , | 0 Comments »



I want to leave a box


Of love letters for my daughter


So that she will unlock the secret


Of how love flies and falters.


I want her to know that she follows


In the footsteps of her mother


I want her to know her ancestors


She comes from a lifetime of lovers.


I want her to read


Of how her mother loved and lost


But how by example she would lead


She always loved at any cost.


She trudged through ridicule,


She shook hands with acceptance,


She never minded either of the two


Because she loved out of her own independence.


My daughter will discover


Of how her mother gave all the love she could


And although it sometimes took all of her


She didn't walk away even when she should


(Even when it hurt).


And even though there were storms


there were rainbows after the rain


And I want her to know even though she'll scorn


There is no joy without pain.


After reading one of the letters


And knowing what I have is hers


She will look in the mirror


And fall in love with her curves.


She will sit and cry and curse the name


Of the men who hurt her mother


And I will tell her love them all the same


Because without them I wouldn't have her.


She will fall in love with the view from rooftops


Onto a city sunset


And it will all become more clear to her


Because she'll know from where she gets it.


My daughter will read the letters


And learn from my mistakes


And know that even when you're surrounded by love


For another in your heart there's space.


At the bottom of the box lies one more letter


A bit longer than the rest


And at the top it will read "I saved this one for last,


Because this love story's the best"


She'll read of a boy who met a girl


And how they fell in love


And though things were hard they built a life


Something like what fairy tails are made of.


She'll read of her father and mother


Exchanging vows and rings


And how every day they loved each other


More just from the little things.


My daughter will read the final line knowing


Of thier love until they're old


Because "A new old fashioned love story


Is the best love story ever told"


My daughter will go through life


Knowing she is loved


And I pray that she will always know


What she is capable of.

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Friday, July 13, 2012 Posted in | , , , , , , , , , , | 0 Comments »

In a time frame of instant gratification, there is a mind state that love can be the perfect concoction just by adding water... why don't we take the time to get to know each other? For a second time that is because you were sky high when we met the first time... but that was a natural remedy to the fact that you were scared of me.
We'll go to your Facebook likes when we can't remember exactly what your face looks like..Instead of trying to imagine how the summer heat reflected off your cheeks when the sun kissed your face... or remember the look in your eyes when they met up with mine to have conversations for days at a time.
Instead of seeing how well your fingers type, I'd rather remember what they feel like when you hold my hand and it fits so perfectly with yours.
What some would consider chore, I consider luxury: like not knowing what your favorite books, movies and TV shows are before we meet.
Let's get lost in a TV series that we only intend of watching the first episode of... but because we can't get enough of each other, make a commitment to watch all one hundred and twenty episodes in order together.. whether we together or not.
And this poem will constantly be under construction because when it comes to love, there is no final say, no one gets the last word... But I will give what I have to the world because that's the effort love deserves.

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Wednesday, July 4, 2012 Posted in | , , | 0 Comments »

I'll start with now

and bring you back to the beginning
Because now I realize 
That I've only begun to live.

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I don't know the names of my students. Why? I blame it on mathematics. I have thirty students that I break into two groups to meet once a week to dance. I spend sixty percent of my time facing away from them and another twenty percent is spend looking at their feet so my facial recognition is about 25 percent.. and considering the fact that I only see then for an hour and a half further impedes my process so that cuts it to about fifteen percent.
This is why I don't know the names of my students.


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Yes, I'm fed up with the drama and it seems I got a lot of explaining to do to the impending sunrise as to why I'm still awake, but I have to have a conversation with this pen and paper.... I'd rather be waking up the neighbors not giving a flying f**k about what anybody else says. Instead of obsessing about hour if the night it is, I'd rather be pondering what the meaning of this is.. the meaningless that is.. my head on your chest. That look in your eye when you are begging me to see your deepest side. Keep me close by even when you cry because I want to be the one that reminds you that without the pain, you wouldn't know what joy feels like. When you see me in the morning, if you know nothing else, know I will be right next to you when you lay down to go to sleep, when you lay in this bed with me. 

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Saturday, April 28, 2012 Posted in | , , | 0 Comments »

Can we please have a moment of silence?
Like Nas said, we gotta end all the unnecessary violence.
Gotta end poverty, seduction death and destruction.
Replace it with love and instruction, guidance production.
Gotta throw water on the seeds of life
Gotta educate the children so that they can feed their minds.
Gotta make a way for our children to inherit the earth,
Cause if we don't they just gon end up with their feet in the dirt.
Only dirt paths to walk upon, forget a golden road,
The gold was spent when we had to spend it on our souls.
We was only out for our own, lost all thoughts of home,
And when the judgement day comes, we'll be standing all alone.
Gotta take time to listen to the world,
Gotta make it right for every little boy and girl.
Get em out the penitentiary within the century,
Cause being behind bars is a place they never meant to be.

As day comes, and night falls
We gotta find a way to break down these walls.
And every day I pray to take away all of the pain that y'al were caused.

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Tuesday, April 24, 2012 Posted in | , , | 0 Comments »

I remember those nights you sat across from me
told me all bullshit and asked "What should I do, V?"
I said "I don't know B, but you'll always have me"
you took it as a friend, but I just wanna see you free
From the lies, from the screamin, and even the heavy breathin,
Except the heavy breathing when makin love is the reason.
"For everything there is a season"
I wanna be your spring-time, summer, fall
winter wonderland, I just wanna be it all.
I wanna be your everything,
I'll fight for you.
I'll put these bitches in line: single file
Organized order.
But when I have you my heart
You twist it up and give it back.
At the rate this going now,
I'm just afraid it's gonna crack...


Go back to the pain
that might as well be in vain
cause you keep runnin back to her
like this life was a game.
I can't help you through it
you wanna just get into it
with the one that ain't hurtin you
I might as well let you do it
I can't keep sittin here
takin hits like the front lines
don't wanna be K.I.A. but i don't wanna run, I
just wanna be the one to hold you late at night
just wanna be the one you make up with when we fight.
but I can't keep sittin here thinkin like you gonna change
I can't keep talking like you and her are estranged.
Cause she's still on your phone sayin Trizzy you miss me?
and even when you with me, you don't even say that you busy.
Although I only take it as a little bit of disrespect
I see it more as disrespect for yourself
You don't even know your wealth.
You don't care about your health.
Cause keep stressin these bitches
I'm sorry, these young ladies
They just constantly switchin
Between the two.



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Sunday, April 22, 2012 Posted in | , , | 0 Comments »

Something to get you through the night when the one you're used to sleeping next to isn't by your side..

Even if its just for tonight
The moon, the stars, the sky is ours
As we lay in this bed and contemplate the mights.
Maybe you'll love me,
Even if its just until the morning
Maybe Ill be with you
The next time its outside, pouring.



When you lay beside me,
Its the best sleep I ever had
Even when I can't breathe
Because I want you so bad.
I feel safe in your arms,
My head on your chest.
I don't know any harm
My mind my body soul can rest.
When the moon shines at midnight,
Through the window onto the sheets.
Even if you're not in my sight
I still feel you right next to me.
When I don't have you near me
It feels like you're miles away
I'm like a baby I can't sleep
I lay awake until the day.
Said I need you here
I can't bare to be without you
You told me that you'd always be here
And I said I'd never doubt you.

You're the only one I want
You're the only one I need
You're the only one I'll hold on to
When nightmares wake me from my sleep.

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Tuesday, April 17, 2012 Posted in | , , | 0 Comments »

I hate the way you do that thing you do that makes me look at you and realize how much I love you and how open I am and how vulnerable I am, that you made me that way, and then I hate you a little more. And then I think about how I've never been that way because I've never loved someone the way I love you in that very moment and I go back to hating you because you made me that way.. You know what they say, I love you more today than I did yesterday, and less than I will tomorrow, but my question is what is the unit of measure?
Because if love is measured in words, today I could write a book. Tomorrow I could fill a library and in a week I could educate nations for generations because my love for you is timeless.
If love is measured in the cohesive bond of two molecules of hydrogen and a molecule of oxygen, today you could collect all the tears that I cry in a night because my heart is almost breaking because I miss you. Tomorrow, you could collect all the tears that I cry in a lifetime, along with the raindrops that I danced in when I was a little girl because of the blissful joy I feel when I'm around you. In a week, you would need the ocean to hold all the rain that has fallen on this world and has flowed from the highest mountain tops like the way your hands hold me and run from my shoulders to my lower back.
If love is measured in money... It doesn't matter because my love for you is priceless. But let's just say poverty would be eradicated and prices would be deflated so that a mother could cook a Thanksgiving dinner every night for her family.
If my love for you was measured in kisses, that would be ridiculous. Because today I'd have enough love to kiss you for the rest of the night, and tomorrow with the sun rise, I'll have enough love to kiss you for the rest of your life. In a month, there would be enough for everyone to kiss a stranger, their brother, their daughter, their mother three times over.
I love you exponentially and eventually becomes immeasurable and I'll have no way to measure my love as perfectly as it takes to measure milk and eggs to make a cake and bake it for your birthday. But I can't bake, I can't even follow the directions on a box. So in the meantime, I'll just count the stars in the sky and name each one as a reason why I love you until I lose count or fall asleep. The next night I can start all over again, count each star out to the moon, make a right at Pluto and come back again.

And even after I count every single one, I still have galaxies and light years to measure how much I love you.

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Sunday, March 25, 2012 Posted in | , , | 2 Comments »

So all those times you was getting hype about Chris and Rihanna getting back together you were hoping it was you and her... I don't know whether you was thinking about the girl before her or her herself but I knew it wasn't me. The fuck I look like trying to be that pitiful girl who let him crush me and then get me back? That's why you there. That's why I let you in.... because you hadn't hurt me before I turned my back on you but you giving me the other cheek while you giving her the cool side of the pillow. The fuck I look like sittin here while you giving subliminals on Facebook to the world what you can't even tell me to my face. But like you said you just pleasing the world for the sake of their feelings when its only for the sake of my skin that you satisfy me.... why don't you get your mind straight then you wouldn't have to deal with curving bitches because you wouldn't have the time of day, forget about during the night.... if course none of them other girls would tell you that because they too caught up in the petty and care too much about being set for life.... not even willing to fight for their own. I'm fighting just to protect my heart..i cant think about fighting for yours. If it was mine to begin with you'd end up in my arms every night instead of a blunt and a light or some other girl falling asleep on your bed when you ain't even have the balls to tell her to get out... the fuck I look like on some Bruno mars shit catchin a grenade for your ass... fuck that. And lose my hand? No thank you. I'm already in the trenches of predicates fighting bullets and bombshells of bad grammar and  syntax.

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Friday, March 23, 2012 Posted in | , , | 0 Comments »

More than a year's gone by.
Would you even recognize me if you saw me on the street?
The question is would I recognize you
If you walked past me...
Besides I don't think I've changed all that much.
You might beg to differ.
Because I can still see you...
Just like I saw you yesterday.
I heard your voice
Watched your cheeks raise when you smiled,
Watched your eyes watch mine intently.
Maybe it was just a dream,
When I watched you turn into the sunset
And walked away.
To forever leave me in the wake of my own memory.


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Wednesday, February 8, 2012 Posted in | , , | 0 Comments »

I know that you can't fight bitterness with bitterness. But what else can I possibly feel other than my gut holding back the words my tongue wants to say when you wont give me the time of day but my heart knows its wrong. Because an eye for an eye will leave us both blind to the love that will always lie in between us at night whether we are in the same bed or miles apart. Since you got the last word I'm left in the dark and forced to wait until you come get me out of this place because I won't leave without you because we both got ourselves here... we have to leave the same way. I can't reciprocate the feeling that you gave me because two negatives don't make a positive they only make a greater negative which is really further away from the positive that is there but covered up by its reciprocal on the other side of zero.

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Tuesday, January 31, 2012 Posted in | , , | 1 Comments »

I let my mind sink into itself with the thought of you. I felt the water slide over my body and how I love to drown in your arms just as the sun comes up... but before I even got there I had to approach the shoreline.. the first meeting of you and I. My toes in the sand as I got my feet wet for the first time in something that was worth my time... I waded up to my knees in the love that you had to offer me, felt my feet fall deeper in the sand and fall deeper into love with what's just inside the outside... the shallow of your eyes, the inside of your hand.. I lifted my foot out of the sand and took another step forward.. the water reached my fingertips. I could almost feel your lips as I traced lines on your face that I can still draw into the back of my hand like a memory. As time passed lines that made your eyes lingered and and then drew our fingers intertwined as I took your hand in mine. I'm not afraid of the ocean, only afraid that I won't be everything that you are... vast, deep, and everything more. . My time came to leave the shore and dive in.. sink or swim. I took one last breath and never looked back. I don't regret that. I spend my days swimming beneath the surface... knowing you're worth it. I spend my nights safe in your embrace until the sun comes up again. I no longer long for the shore, only that every one knows what its like to drown in the best way... to lose yourself in love

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Monday, January 30, 2012 Posted in | , , , , | 0 Comments »


Words and actions, actions and words
What came first the egg or the bird?
We’re confined to believing that change only comes from a dollar bill
 For a bill of 6.75 but what is the price of freedom?
Freedom ain’t free and I may not agree with what you say
But I will defend with my life your right to say it
But before I can save you, I need to save myself from self destruction
So its up to me to break the chains but
I feel like I’m trapped by a straight jacket with my arms around my waist
Shackles on my ankles and a muzzle on my face.
I’m bound to the ground by belts fastened tight
And I have a blindfold on so I have no sight
I try to yell to scream, but my voice has been silenced
We’re all a victim of organized crime it’s called: the government
The heat waves gave way to my ribcage because
I’m starving but it might as well be my temples carving spaces
of malnourishment of the mind, body and soul
when the body hurts as a whole,
there’s a space void in the mind
and I’m being confined as my spirit is ripped limb from limb.
I’m bound by the standards of society
What they tell me is what I need to be, but
Who is they, anyway? I’m trapped by a system that has me running in circles.
My intellect is tested by standardized tests the determine my fate like a crystal ball
They are not a caricature of my character by any means
Education is the key to achieving your dreams but
Not before you  pay the state government that tells us we can’t get a job
To pay for our schooling so we can’t do the school thing that supposedly is a birthright.
Can we start to get it right?

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Wednesday, January 25, 2012 Posted in | , , | 0 Comments »