I wish you laid up in this bed with me to share my dreams that could reach the stars and circle the earth a thousand times... Get lost in the covers with one another as we explore the miles of memories from centuries ago when I was your husband and you were my wife and our life was one together made of two counterparts. Hold me close when I drift to sleep just to be sure you will meet me in my dreams. Awoken by the pulse of another beat to whisper melodies of a dream you and I were together, only to find that my dream is your reality and what awoke me was your body heat. A hand on my chest from my breast to my hip around my waist your lips taste my neck and shoulders... A familiar feeling from years past.
We are not an illusion any more than the stars that appear in the city sky. Tear these city lights down with me so that we can see even the shine in Orion's eyes. Bring down the buildings so that we can conquer each other's feeling of loneliness only by breathing life into one another so that we may be able to see the sun rise and set all from the comfort of this bed. Let the scent of your skin sink into the pillow so that I have part of you to keep me warm when it is up to the the stars in the sky and I to make love so the moon will shine just one more night.

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Thursday, January 28, 2010 Posted in | | 0 Comments »

Look at me and tell me what you see
Hips that are too wide and a waistline that’s too big
Arms that move too much when I hold them in the air
Fingers I can’t run through the curls in my hair
My nose is too thick, there’s a space between my teeth
There’s no space at the place where my two thighs meet
My skin is too dark, too light, too brown, too white…

I am a subject of you imagination
a product of your perception
A am what you mold me to be
Whatever you want to be I will be
Like that hoe that that girl thinks that I've been
Even though she’s been with all of my men -- after me
Or maybe I'm that ghetto spic on the street
Or maybe on another note I'm that white girl from upstate
Like "Wait...
...Super-man that what?"
Maybe I'm that bible totin, verse quotin
Self proclaimed prophet that you can't stand...
Then sit your ass down.
To you I might be fat, large, "pleasantly plump" even.
News Flash: Maybe it's just... Thick.

You might take delight in my chocolate flavored hair
Sigh at the sight of my coffee colored eyes
Maybe you want to grab hold of these hips and these thighs
or these Dreaded Curses that my mother Blessed me with
... Or maybe they're just implants.
But no, I was endowed, au natural.
But how can that be? A white girl with a body?
I'm just that girl in the corner, remember?
Then tell me, how is it
That I dance with a fire in my step like I just walked off the island
And my tongue is split in two directions:
The language that was given to me, and
The language that was taken from me, given by my Grandmother
Whose hands and tongue have stood the test of time.
So before you judge me,
know you can't budge me
Because I am a figure of God's imagination,
I am the subject of his illustration.
Ain't nothing making me
Into something
I'm not meant to be
So don't try to make me fit a mold
Cause I am here, breaking your hold
To belong to you, no more.
Now look at me and tell me what you see
A smile worthwhile, a beautiful queen.

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Sunday, January 24, 2010 Posted in | | 0 Comments »

I want to personalize it but I think I speak for many of the young women whose skin and emotions have been penetrated depreciated and have had their insides rattled by the ones before you. Left in the shallow of love's broad ocean, and hollowed out by the lack of reciprocated emotion leaves us with only ourselves to hold on to and find pleasure in.
Forgive me if the smooth jazz mixed with r&b and a touch of honey happens to come from my lips cause I lost myself for a moment, but the walls will stand strong. It is so hard to take the responsibility for each other, but its even harder to relinquish that control to another, letting my fantasies take over and erase the memories that screwed me over, allow your hand to find sanctuary in the space that lies between my thighs and my hair might fall around you along with the walls that stand around me so that i might lose my footing, trip on the cornerstone and fall for you.. but wait.. with time being cut short on my end you just gunna cut me off your end and never speak to me again..
but for the record, that was just on my record of stereotypes about some boys that I've known so I'm just speaking from experience i dare not call them men, they will never equate to that. but if you believe you can be more than just a boy to me, step up and stick around, you have only just scratched the surface of what lies on atop of my island in the ocean, and its every girls dream to make it grow two fold with the love of another, but too many times they have docked, robbed and left a barren island she she decides to pack up too, and stay in the safe house of the walls she built around it, while she waits and prays someone has enough balls to wait at the foot gate until she decides to open it... on her time.
So step up and stick around, she has been waiting to open that gate for so long.

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Wednesday, January 20, 2010 Posted in | | 0 Comments »

Devil, you can’t have me
Cause you can’t afford me
With your words and your money
Tryin’a run that game
I know where you’re aimin, honey
Tryin’a ruin my innocence and take my freedom
Tryin’a make me join ‘em cause I can’t beat ‘em
While girls are spreading their legs
And dudes are passin that dutch
I’m sittin here-- hating you so much
Cause you made them do it
They had a choice
But you took it away
With one sound of your voice.
Yes there once was a time
When I bought all your lies
How I lowered and lowered and lowered and lowered and lowered my price...
Trusted your bad credit
Accepted your counterfeit
Withdrawing on my spirit
Bringing me to negative balance
Your post-dated checks that bounced and bounced and bounced and bounced
Oh...how I sold out
But I'm closed down for business now
I'm no longer for sell
But even if I was-
30 pieces of silver wouldn't be enough!
(Now I ain't saying she a gold-digga...but uh...she ain't messin wit no broke, broke, broke...)
7- is HIS perfect credit score
6-6-6, I bind in the name of Jesus
By His 5 holy wounds I am healed First Peter 2:2-
4- GIVEN because of the buy 2 get 1 FREE...
3, 3, 3... is all that I need
In the name of the Father, the Son, and His Holy Spirit
You see I can't give you me
Because I am not my own
I've already been bought at a price
Sold to the highest bidder
His name- Jesus Christ
Now I know I can’t write a verse to Maya Angelou’s reprise
But like her words and God’s son “I shall rise”
From the dirt, pain, tragedy and despair
I’m worth more than can ever be compared
To any diamond or jewel
To the moon or the stars
But like the sun on a summer day
From darkness I withdraw
So Satan tempt me not, I don’t have the time
To be telling you off, not politely decline
He showed me the light
And I got it right
Like the wall of Jericho, you are coming down
Down to where my feet meet the ground
Because beneath me is where you belong
And believe me, it’s where you’ll stay
You won’t grab hold of me another day
In Jesus’ name let his will be done
How many more times will you violate me?

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Monday, January 18, 2010 Posted in | | 0 Comments »

My heart is tired.
It retreats within me.
To the memories of how it used to be.

The sun on the street, the wind in the trees.
Years passed is where I want to be.

I just want things to be right again.
Just want to hear theyll b alright again.

The weight of the world remained in the sky, 
& was blown away on a warm summers night.

The only love I felt was true, 
Because its response was 'I love you too.'

Take me back when you lay under the stars with me... 

years passed is where I want to be. 

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So let the sun come up again 
Rise above these concrete trees
That make up this jungle
Just like my dreams
That go back to the jungle
Up in the mountains
Where the sun breaks the fog
That the rains brought

And who ever thought
That my body fought
The elements that compose my flesh and blood
So now i will let the sun caress my back
My hair fall to my shoulders
Let the sweat fall like a tear
Running down the side of my face
Down my neck, onto my chest
And over my breasts
Where it travels with the rain
That falls from what lies above me
Be it trees or concrete
I will hold my head high
My face to the sky
And let nothing but the sun dry away
The sweat, the rain, the tears, and pain
That are hidden.
You didn't know that I was crying
When the rain traveled with my tears
Washing me bare
And the afternoon sun took it away
And let me know that I wasn't alone
And that my dreams could still fly beyond
The trees of concrete and those connected to my blood
My dreams... fueled by the fire that is my soul.

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Sunday, January 17, 2010 Posted in | | 0 Comments »

Goaple: sing it to me Girl.
Closer to my Dreams
I sit in the darkness
I feel you next to me
That night you lay with me
song on repeat
You loved me that night.
Close your eyes and see what you believe
3 years later
you stopped when she reached your ear
as you reached for me.
Arms around me
The way they did
last time it played on repeat.
But this time you're only in my mind...
A text on my phone.
I feel you here, but you don't feel my tears.
You can't even comprehend
What I mean when I say I miss you
The way things used to be.
Your arms around me-- I'm gettin higher on repeat.
...Sometimes it feels like I'm stuck forever...
Come back to me... Hold me
Lay with me. Please.
Wipe these tears from my face.
A break. A call.
You know by my voice
As you reach for my cheek and
Gather water from the river that's for you.
you Lay me down to sleep
You know my breath
Stretching out my arms so I can Breathe
Back on repeat.
Lean on my fears to burn down.
you saved me from myself
as you hung up the phone.
you kiss me goodnight
Moving upward and onward and beyond all that I see...
And bring me closer to the clouds

I feel it in my viens....
I know that I could not go alone. 

Closer to my Dreams... You were here with me... all along.

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The sound of Happiness.
Serenity, Freedom, Enlightenment.
Right outside, there is a taste of what my heart Longs for.
A warm breeze that wraps around me gently,
The last bit of sun gazing over the clouds,
The sounds of bird calls and leaves rustling.
God, make this last forever.

As I sit in solidarity, I do not feel alone.
There is a song in my heart and it keeps me company.
Sometimes the best company I can have.
I lift my head to the sky and close my eyes.
I can hear it...
The place that my soul wants to be.

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A new page, a fresh start.
Empty space, endless possibilities.
Still, all the baggage seems to find its way
Onto these lines where I find myself,
Once again, accidentally breaking down
and Letting it All Out.
Everything from my past
Wound around what is my future.
Limited, or Unlimited?
Does what I thought was baggage
Actually diminish time itself
and allow the Past to intertwine with my present
Only to teach me for my Future?
...A beautiful disaster.

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