I wish that you believed in love, so then maybe you could see the love I have to give. Like a trap star, I got so much I sell the shit. But nobody wants it, all having been scorned by the one before. So I'm sellin mine in bulk at a discounted rate- lacking conversation and maybe a second date. Always only half invested, I keep having to get myself tested to see if something's love or lust, and always saying "In God I trust" but trust less in the dollar bills that are leaving people unfulfilled like a bad trip on a half ass stash. Like a junkie out of rehab, you swore off love because her lies tied the belt around your arm as her breath fueled the fire of her kisses that cooked and were injected into you veins, that was the only pain you knew of love. Left strung out on the bathroom floor your hopes and dreams went down the drain along with your hope that you'd get another hit of her. Her love was your drug and it turned into addiction- a daily procedure, she'd tell you lies of pride and leave you alone to seizure. You checked yourself in to the nearest center for rehabilitation and you made gettin clean your obligation.
I'm sitting here wondering if there's any hope for a relapse cause you've seemed to have swept off my feet and I'm standing on my kneecaps. I'm not saying I want you to fall back to the track of what backtracked you, but the feeling that comes when something you're in is the truth. I want to be your natural high. Trippin off life and all the little things. Let me hold your hand so can feel the beat of my heart pulsing through your veins. I don't wanna make you blind, I just want to open your heart so you don't see the end before the shit ever starts. That was my problem too, but I had to live in the moment. I knew that they'd be gone, I just couldn't have shown it. I just want to make you breathless, remove your fear like articles of clothing and shed this..
They say if you want to stay alive, don't get high on your own supply... unless of course you sharin- that's better, then you can get high together. John Legend said we on cloud 9 together. Let my kiss send you to another place while my hair that falls around you is the only way to find your way back. Lay me on my back and rest your head on my chest and exhale your stress. I'll inhale the lies and believe me when I tell you "everything's going to be aright". Everything's going to be alright.

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Friday, December 17, 2010 Posted in | , , , , , , | 0 Comments »

Lookin back 21 years of my past and wondering why the best things didn't last.
I wonder if you really saw the light in my eyes that night.

I wonder if you heard me say "I love you" for one last time.
Why didn't I hold on longer? Why didn't I look back?

I would give anything to see your face just one more time.
14 years later and I can still hear your voice perfectly.
Before I close my eyes tonight, I will pray
That I meet you in my dreams.

I will no longer let my eyes lie for me
You will know the thoughts that cross my mind every minute
If you just take the short moment.
to look into my eyes.

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Tuesday, November 30, 2010 Posted in | , , , , , , | 0 Comments »


When I felt most alone,
You carried me through my darkest hour.
You were right by my side
When the devil threatened to devour
My soul, my being
My entire gift from you.
I know that you will not deny me
You're the purest meaning of the truth.

I need you, I love you
You make my life complete.
You're worth more than gold and diamonds,
No riches could compete.
You know my words before they part my lips
You ease my soul from the restlessness.
You know me better than I know myself
I want to worship you and no one else.

Take my hand, take my heart.
Let us never be apart.
Even when my skies are dark
Let us never be apart.
When the clouds seem to clear
I will give you the praise.
When the sun brightens my day
I will give you the praise.

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Sunday, November 14, 2010 Posted in | , , , | 0 Comments »

I don't know what to say to you. From the first time I read your words I was intrigued, but I was in an unknown land, never before have I experienced something like that. that... as time went by and I continued to crawl through the loopholes of your metaphors that are to me so real and upfront they couldn't get much closer to the truth, and the fact that they capture every bit of emotion and air from me and leave me breathless, I began to dig deeper and deeper into the jungle of your mind and somewhere in the darkest most desolate place sat the epitome of what was wrapped up in your words all along, the part of me that took what seemed like centuries to show you, was in front of me all along. as I sit and think about how your words speak volumes, they need not be told with volume in your voice, just a simple whisper in my ear will do and a gentle hand on my neck but I haven't even gotten to the lips yet... let your index finger reference the indents of my smile and your fingertips run across my lips so that part of you will stay for me to taste while my leg goes from crossed over me to encompassing you, wrapped with judgment and insecurities, it finds the safest place possible, on your lap to rest with your bones while the rest of me still filled with judgment and insecurities runs free cause that's what your words do to me and for me all while at the same time embracing my mind with the thought of you embracing me I somehow get lost in the space between our two bodies so make it disappear, hold me tight no longer with just your words but with your arms around my waist and my arms around your shoulders we'll find a way through this night of our lives that is set so gently on the city skyline by the setting sun.. the sight that I find myself gazing upon like I was gazing into your eyes feeling every emotion and transmitting them when my lips find refuge from the darkness of the sun dipped in horizon, in a reflection of my life and what my eyes cannot see, ears cannot hear, nose cannot smell nor can the voice speak.. Only the touch of skin can comprehend... but at the same time let me breathe you in, see how perfect it can look, hear your whispers or our echoed scream, those of pain and pleasure, in the moments of tribulation and ecstasy... wrap your mind in my words and my thoughts.. Then you will see me in my barest form...

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Monday, November 1, 2010 Posted in | , , , | 0 Comments »

there is a silence that only the street lamps could tell you.
for a brief moment after they have been put to rest
after another watchful night,
they speak of a quiet that comes from the streets
that are yet untouched by daylight.
cars only move in the distance,
but the streets that surround me are still asleep.
as the sky lightens, i do not fear the silence
because it welcomes life.
drawing children from their slumber
and people to the pavement,
this is the circle of life and the cycle
that ends and begins in this time.
a cool breeze makes its way to my window
and greets me to listen to the sound of silence,
for it is where i find peace.

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Tuesday, October 26, 2010 Posted in | , , , | 0 Comments »

My eyes map out the lines of life on your face as my fingers forge paths in the valleys that span your chest and back. My tongue explores the rapids of your kiss.. I only know your shallow. The white capped waves atop deep, deep rivers. I want to know the words and thoughts that lie on the banks. Secrets never spoken. I want to swim upstream to your earliest memories so I know where you have been, and race downstream, so I may find where you are headed. I want to dive deep into your eyes where your soul lies and your dreams fly. As I ascend my legs scale cliffs and hold onto you for dear life. I want to fill every space between your fingers with my own so that I know we're both whole. I want to be the one to make you the happiest and have the potential to make you hurt the most. I want to be the one to make you the most vulnerable, and provide you the greatest refuge from the storm. I want my insecurites to embrace your vulerabilities so that we may both be... Open.

I have only five minutes to express to you what it would take ten millenniums to verbalize, so look into my eyes and take my hand. Follow my lead and wrap your arms around me. Feel secure to rest your bones, and I promise you will never be left alone. And if you ever find yourself losing count of the stars in the sky, close your eyes and imagine me with you, that I may help you find where you left off. That I may help you find where you left. So that I may help you find... My mind travels miles to find you again.

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Sunday, October 10, 2010 Posted in | , | 0 Comments »

"Love's pure silver silver flame 
gives each innermost spirit 
invisible warmth."
-Artist Unknown
Your love reaches deep within me. It gropes at the darkness of where it last slept and finds that it no longer carries the scent of you but left abandoned like the first class in the Titanic. It's been centuries from lives past since love last resided there before it left for a few lifetimes to go fight for herself. She braved on as men invaded her land and stole her children to make them work as dogs. She was the leader of an army of Amazon woman warriors but they were more like goddesses, their love for their people kept them alive. Before the days of war, were the lives of leisure, when she ruled the pyramids and supported the world on the balance of her shoulder with her hips. Love hadn't been there since before Eve sprang from Adam's rib and the dirt from the earth as they fell into the hole of original sin.
Your love entered me without hesitance. A bright white light around the room when you walked in. The north star of David stood in second and third place while the flame your love carried with bare hands and risked second and third degree burns shined brightly. Your love burned hot silver and warmed every corner that was once frigid and lonely. Your love reached deep inside me past every molecule of me that stood in the way and charged to my innermost self. The place where only I resided, but barely knew. With its light, your love came in and revealed parts of me that were lost in those past lifetimes. A love for myself and for those around me. I will spread the love that you gave to me and reach deep inside others with my heart as your hand holds mine and touches my soul at the same time.


...In a haiku poem, only half the story is told... It is the other half you must pay close attention to.

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Friday, July 9, 2010 Posted in | , , , , , , , , , | 0 Comments »

Each one of us has a story to tell. So pay attention because even if you think you know me well.. something like the back of my hand- my story is in my palm. Each line is a wrinkle in time from a life before...

I don't need to live the high life, I'd rather live the Fly Life. I don't need no shining lights, just the stars shining bright. I don't need the money, just the milk and the honey. I don't want the cars and the clothes, I just want 16 bars and notes. I have no need for AARP because seeing another sun rise is the best life insurance one could have...

Forget the rock on my finger to commit, just wrap your arms around me and find a beat to rock with. I don't mind that we missed the train so long as you were kissing me in the rain too long. Let's break up just to make up... or not break up, just make up for being away from each other too long. I don't care that my hair is a mess, run your fingers through it a little bit longer until my eyes have no choice but to let you out of their site. And when the moon is the only guide through the night, let my head rest on your chest so I know where I am when the morning comes...

I don't want the caviar and the wine, just hand me yellow rice and a bottle of rum. Let the gold and diamonds stay in the caves, I'd rather have a shell from where the sea kisses the shore. I would take a sunny day over a brightly lit stage cause I don't need the fame to know the true meaning of the name Fly Vida. Because life is fly whether it be from a bird's eye where the wings of words allow every voice to be heard or from the eye of the storm that throws you and forces you to transform your Vida. So don't hold on to anything tangible for too long because at the end of the day, a dollar is just some paper, a penny is just metal, but a smile is priceless.

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Monday, June 21, 2010 Posted in | , | 0 Comments »

A familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach
If I would have stayed I would have become it.
Like Alicia Keys said you give me that Heartburn
But like she also said, you just another Lesson Learned.

Because if I'd considered you a waste of time
It'd be worse- you'd have wasted mine.
And that might give you some twisted satisfaction
But I'm just gonna hit you with the opposite reaction.

Those late night fights had me feelin kinda tight
But it's a new morning and I'm feeling alright.
My mind is clear, my spirits are high.
And unlike time, I'll let you pass me by.

I won't apologize for being a mess
I'm only sorry to myself for letting you cause me stress.
But I wouldn't trade it a thousand times.
Otherwise I wouldn't be writing these lines.

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Perhaps the reason when words go unwritten for a period of time is that I would rather have memories lost than recorded like the Aztecs and Incas that are still legible today. I want them to be lost in Atlantis, to be constantly pondered but never found and I'd rather them be made up then surfaced to eat at me once again. I want the touch of your hand and the sound of your voice to fall so deep into the pit of my stomach it is broken down by the acidity of my body. I got this heartburn every time I hear your voice after I have almost forgotten what you sound like, a message on my phone whose retention time is about to expire. I would have waited for you should I have known that your heart was somewhere in this universe and not behind the bars of a black hole.

Sometimes the only reason we keep coming back to only to ask "why". Because even a bad explanation is better than not having one at all. I am caught between deleting your number from my phone so I don't see your name and keeping it there so I know when to bounce back and forth between answering and pressing "ignore".

When my fault lines are about to bring fourth the lava that runs in my heart, just to hear your voice is relief. So now I'm caught in a catch 22 with the two of you between hearing your voice and seeing your face and having you pushed to the back of my mind which would be a blessing in disguise. But I will not let it get the best of me. I'll let it roll.

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Saturday, June 12, 2010 Posted in | , | 0 Comments »

Everything you preach
Must be the same as what you teach.
All these people fakin like they anointed,
but the rest of us know who God appointed.
Would you face humility for me? I highly doubt it.
For me, would you speak against adversity?
Would you die to set me free?
Not just for me, but for all humanity?
Now, y'al lookin at me with ya eyes all w i d e
Thinkin 'Damn, this girl is out of her mind.'
but to tell you the truth I couldn't care less,
Cause you labeling me ain't worth my stress.
In reality, the only one that can judge me
is the only one who hovers above me.
And that will be on the judgment day,
and I don't know exactly what he'll say,
but it's the same to me as it is to you
cause God forgives, no matter what we do.
He knows about me and about you.
And about everything you've been through.
From our joy to our sorrow,
even what we'll encounter tomorrow.
He knows when you sleep and if you'll wake
or if he decides your soul to take.
Cause if he did, he'd be takin and makin and angel in heaven.
and I'd know that I'd see your face again.
When I see the beauty of God's love
and see that nothing can come above:
Him.
He freed me from sin.
He died for me to set me free.
He spoke against adversity.
Not only for me, but for all humanity.
So you see?
It's a real, unconditional kind of thing...
...Cause nothing can be compared
to the Love of a King.


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Sunday, April 25, 2010 Posted in | , | 0 Comments »

It was something unexpected when I saw your eyes that day.
Something was familiar, though what it was I couldn't say.
Your lips took me away, into another world
Where your kiss can take a grain of sand and change it to a pearl.
Your eyes are the stars in the midnight sky
Even when clouds surround you, they're impossible to hide.
I want to explore every mark on the palm of your hand
Because every square inch of you is unmarked land.
Your smile is a reflection of the way my heart sings
And your body gives off heat that only the sun could bring.

Infatuated with the thought of you laying beside me.
Your head on my chest and your breath on my neck provide me
A memory of you that transcends to my dreams
Where the darkness of night is broken by moonbeams
And when I look up and see every star in the sky
I will remember the light in your eyes.
Or is it mine, cause you see
I could stay awake all night, just to watch you sleep...

...I awoke to find it was all a dream
To realize that nothing is what it seems.
You said you would wait at the foot of the gate,
I guess when I took the chance, I was too late.
I opened up the gate to find nobody there,
Only the piece of my heart you left behind: naked, cold, and bare.
No protection wrapped around it- no phone call, no goodbye,
Nothing but a broken promise- you said you'd never make me cry.

The walls began to break and then the water flooded in,
The earth began to shake and I sank to the bottom of the ocean.
I drowned for a minute, choking on the water,
Then something pulled me up, without hesitance or falter.
Filled with love and kindness, we were worlds apart.
They thought nothing of it, but it really saved my heart.
To value myself on someone else's terms is difficult to measure,
Because someone's trash is another person's treasure.

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I cannot deny how I felt when I was around you and even when you're not here with me. A light you left behind from your eyes brightened my world and your shadow kept me warm at night. You were always on my mind and I couldn't seem to escape the lovely thoughts we made together. Even in the middle of the night I would awake at the sight of your face and fall back to sleep when I knew you were dreaming of me too. You smiled and my world was alright. Everything was alright...

Now all I am left with is a hollowed out shell of what was once your place in my heart and a mere echo your voice and laughter. At night only thing that makes me is a nightmare which I am unable to fall asleep after. With everything you told me I wonder if it is you who is unwilling to reach out for me or someone is holding you back. There is a way to call out my name and let me know you are still there. Either way, you promised me I wouldn't cry... You were right for a while.. I didn't shed a tear. But then one day the storm I had tried so hard to fight off came and shook my body into a sleep. Every heave of my chest sent me further into the why's and how's of the moment. When I awoke, the storm was over, but the damage of the broken promises and uprooted memories plagued me. I was left alone to repair my broken heart alone...

You have become another statistic in my life, another time my heart will be mended, though it will take time. You are the one I look at with pity because I would have loved you with all that I had. You couldn't find a better love than that. No matter what you said to me, you threw me to the back and left me out in the cold to mend myself. You are nothing. Nothing but another lesson learned. I will not cry for you. When, or even if I cry, it will be for me. You will no longer control my feelings or hold a cloud over my head in the brightest day. The rays of the sun will shine on me and kiss my face with memories of my childhood, and ambition for the future. Too many times I have said goodbye, you told me. Yet I stand here saying the same thing to you. Goodbye, love. Goodbye.

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Friday, April 9, 2010 Posted in | , | 0 Comments »

I can't give you all of me.
There's some things I need to keep.

In order to give you other things. 
Like my lips.
I need to be able to give you a kiss.
I need my nose to nuzzle you with.
I need my ears: when you call out my name
I'll use my voice to do the same
I need my eyes so you can see my soul
I need my hands so there's something to hold. 
So I guess I'm giving you all of me
It just took me until now to see.


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Thursday, March 18, 2010 Posted in | | 0 Comments »

The best thing you ever had is passing you by
but it's time for me to spread my wings and fly.
In an event such as this it's so sad to see
that you and I together wasn't meant to be
I'm finally over and done with you
there's nothing more that you can do
to make me stay I'm out the door,
I don't even want to think about you no more.
I'm underneath my angel's wings
and fly I will to better things....

I remember when you told me
You would never let me go
That forever we’d be together
And it was me you’d always hold
With your arms wrapped around me
Closest your heart
Or on those nights when fear surrounds me
When I’m alone and in the dark.

I was there for you, I loved you
You said that you loved me
Now I know I wasn’t nothing
Cause you only care about the money
The zeros and commas
The dividends and guap
I wish that I could give you a mirror
Cause this bullshit needs to stop

Like a car, you traded me in
For a brand new BMW
It better be leather interior
Cause a week later- shit got broken into
I may be scratched and dented,
But it's all because of you.
No one had me the way you did
Now you see what you can do.
I know that I’m not rich
But it’s love that’s gonna hold me
Cause money comes and after it goes
You just gonna end up lonely
I’m tellin you for your own good
I don’t give a shit you not with me
I don’t give a damn- cause I deserve a man
Whose gonna love and set me free.

I said before I couldn't do it
But this is my Last Goodbye.
I've had it with the pain you've caused
All the tears you made me cry.
So remember when you call for me
And you get no reply,
I said it once and I'll say it again
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye.

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Monday, February 22, 2010 Posted in | | 0 Comments »

The sun is smiling, a fresh cup of coffee.
This is what the perfect morning looks like.
I have so much work piled sky high
Pages that are demanding to be read.
The days pass and I must let
The emotion of words pass me by.
But for just this moment,
I will embrace every feeling:
passion, hate, jealousy, longing.
As the world stands still around me.
I will capture those feelings
In a single sentence:
I Love You.
To the mirror, to my passer-bys.
Even to the people who
Have brought tears to my eyes.
I Love You.
Because I life not lived out of love
Is a life not worth living.

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Monday, February 8, 2010 Posted in | | 0 Comments »

I wish you laid up in this bed with me to share my dreams that could reach the stars and circle the earth a thousand times... Get lost in the covers with one another as we explore the miles of memories from centuries ago when I was your husband and you were my wife and our life was one together made of two counterparts. Hold me close when I drift to sleep just to be sure you will meet me in my dreams. Awoken by the pulse of another beat to whisper melodies of a dream you and I were together, only to find that my dream is your reality and what awoke me was your body heat. A hand on my chest from my breast to my hip around my waist your lips taste my neck and shoulders... A familiar feeling from years past.
We are not an illusion any more than the stars that appear in the city sky. Tear these city lights down with me so that we can see even the shine in Orion's eyes. Bring down the buildings so that we can conquer each other's feeling of loneliness only by breathing life into one another so that we may be able to see the sun rise and set all from the comfort of this bed. Let the scent of your skin sink into the pillow so that I have part of you to keep me warm when it is up to the the stars in the sky and I to make love so the moon will shine just one more night.

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Thursday, January 28, 2010 Posted in | | 0 Comments »


Look at me and tell me what you see
Hips that are too wide and a waistline that’s too big
Arms that move too much when I hold them in the air
Fingers I can’t run through the curls in my hair
My nose is too thick, there’s a space between my teeth
There’s no space at the place where my two thighs meet
My skin is too dark, too light, too brown, too white…


I am a subject of you imagination
a product of your perception
A am what you mold me to be
Whatever you want to be I will be
Like that hoe that that girl thinks that I've been
Even though she’s been with all of my men -- after me
Or maybe I'm that ghetto spic on the street
Or maybe on another note I'm that white girl from upstate
Like "Wait...
...Super-man that what?"
Maybe I'm that bible totin, verse quotin
Self proclaimed prophet that you can't stand...
Then sit your ass down.
To you I might be fat, large, "pleasantly plump" even.
News Flash: Maybe it's just... Thick.


You might take delight in my chocolate flavored hair
Sigh at the sight of my coffee colored eyes
Maybe you want to grab hold of these hips and these thighs
or these Dreaded Curses that my mother Blessed me with
... Or maybe they're just implants.
But no, I was endowed, au natural.
But how can that be? A white girl with a body?
I'm just that girl in the corner, remember?
Then tell me, how is it
That I dance with a fire in my step like I just walked off the island
And my tongue is split in two directions:
The language that was given to me, and
The language that was taken from me, given by my Grandmother
Whose hands and tongue have stood the test of time.
So before you judge me,
know you can't budge me
Because I am a figure of God's imagination,
I am the subject of his illustration.
Ain't nothing making me
Into something
I'm not meant to be
So don't try to make me fit a mold
Cause I am here, breaking your hold
To belong to you, no more.
Now look at me and tell me what you see
A smile worthwhile, a beautiful queen.

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Sunday, January 24, 2010 Posted in | | 0 Comments »




My heart is tired.
It retreats within me.
To the memories of how it used to be.


The sun on the street, the wind in the trees.
Years passed is where I want to be.


I just want things to be right again.
Just want to hear theyll b alright again.


The weight of the world remained in the sky, 
& was blown away on a warm summers night.


The only love I felt was true, 
Because its response was 'I love you too.'


Take me back when you lay under the stars with me... 


years passed is where I want to be. 

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Monday, January 18, 2010 Posted in | | 0 Comments »

So let the sun come up again 
Rise above these concrete trees
That make up this jungle
Just like my dreams
That go back to the jungle
Up in the mountains
Where the sun breaks the fog
That the rains brought

And who ever thought
That my body fought
The elements that compose my flesh and blood
So now i will let the sun caress my back
My hair fall to my shoulders
Let the sweat fall like a tear
Running down the side of my face
Down my neck, onto my chest
And over my breasts
Where it travels with the rain
That falls from what lies above me
Be it trees or concrete
I will hold my head high
My face to the sky
And let nothing but the sun dry away
The sweat, the rain, the tears, and pain
That are hidden.
You didn't know that I was crying
When the rain traveled with my tears
Washing me bare
And the afternoon sun took it away
And let me know that I wasn't alone
And that my dreams could still fly beyond
The trees of concrete and those connected to my blood
My dreams... fueled by the fire that is my soul.


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Sunday, January 17, 2010 Posted in | | 0 Comments »

Goaple: sing it to me Girl.
Closer to my Dreams
I sit in the darkness
I feel you next to me
That night you lay with me
song on repeat
You loved me that night.
Close your eyes and see what you believe
3 years later
you stopped when she reached your ear
as you reached for me.
Arms around me
The way they did
last time it played on repeat.
But this time you're only in my mind...
A text on my phone.
I feel you here, but you don't feel my tears.
You can't even comprehend
What I mean when I say I miss you
The way things used to be.
Your arms around me-- I'm gettin higher on repeat.
...Sometimes it feels like I'm stuck forever...
Come back to me... Hold me
Lay with me. Please.
Wipe these tears from my face.
A break. A call.
You know by my voice
As you reach for my cheek and
Gather water from the river that's for you.
you Lay me down to sleep
You know my breath
Stretching out my arms so I can Breathe
Back on repeat.
Lean on my fears to burn down.
you saved me from myself
as you hung up the phone.
you kiss me goodnight
Moving upward and onward and beyond all that I see...
And bring me closer to the clouds

I feel it in my viens....
I know that I could not go alone. 

Closer to my Dreams... You were here with me... all along.

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The sound of Happiness.
Serenity, Freedom, Enlightenment.
Right outside, there is a taste of what my heart Longs for.
A warm breeze that wraps around me gently,
The last bit of sun gazing over the clouds,
The sounds of bird calls and leaves rustling.
God, make this last forever.


As I sit in solidarity, I do not feel alone.
There is a song in my heart and it keeps me company.
Sometimes the best company I can have.
I lift my head to the sky and close my eyes.
I can hear it...
The place that my soul wants to be.

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A new page, a fresh start.
Empty space, endless possibilities.
Still, all the baggage seems to find its way
Onto these lines where I find myself,
Once again, accidentally breaking down
and Letting it All Out.
Everything from my past
Wound around what is my future.
Limited, or Unlimited?
Does what I thought was baggage
Actually diminish time itself
and allow the Past to intertwine with my present
Only to teach me for my Future?
...A beautiful disaster.

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